Oscar Picks from a guy who knows nothing about movies

So we have to do something about the Oscars, so here are Oscar picks from a guy who doesn’t know anything about the Academy.

Best Visual Effects

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Purely because of that scene where Rey pulls the lightsaber out of the snow. Goosebumps every time. And Rey’s really hot. Which helps. 

Best Sound Mixing

Mad Max: Fury Road. The dude was playing a flaming guitar. Mix that, Bridge of Spies. 

Best Sound Editing

Mad Max: Fury Road. I’m sorry, is this a different thing? Flaming. Guitar.

Best Original Song

Fifty Shades of Grey – “Earned It” – The Weeknd. Purely because it was a solid addition to the Johnson sexy-time mix. But I’m not a fool, that movie was horrendous. 

Best Original Score

Star Wars: TFA – John Williams. The nostalgia. The feels. The..oh yeah, it’s John Williams, he’s a fucking genius. 

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Mad Max: Fury Road. I don’t know if the flaming guitar is eligible for this category, but it should win anyways. But regardless, genuinely awesome makeup/hair in this film.

Best Foreign Language Film

Son of Saul. Brilliant, haunting movie by Hungarian genius Laszlo Nemes who did a fantastic interview with Men in Blazers this week, where a man who is forced to burn the bodies of his own people during the Holocaust mistakes one of the bodies for his son. He then through this discovery embarks on a moral journey. One of the most harrowing and intense movies of the year. What? I’m allowed to be serious every category or so.

Best Director

The Big Short: Adam McKay. I saw McKay in Maui once with Will Ferrell. 

Best Costume Design

Mad Max: Fury Road. Flaming guitar. 

Best Cinematography

The Hateful Eight. All shot in one room essentially, which was pretty cool. And who doesn’t love Samuel L Jackson talk about making a racist man blow him TO HIS OWN FATHER. Not sure if that has anything to do with cinematography but it was amazing.

Best Animated Feature Film

Inside Out. Made me cry and miss my imaginary friends. RIP Bing Bong.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Jennifer Jason Leigh. I’ve never seen a woman get hit in the face so much in one movie. Almost heroic. 

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Sylvester Stallone. Duh duh duhhhhhhh, duh duh duhhhhhhhhh. He kicks cancers ass (kinda/hopefully). Only Stallone. 

Best Actress

Jennifer-Lawrence. Everyone says she doesn’t deserve it this year so yeah she’s probably going to win. And because J-Law.

Best Actor

Leonardo DiCaprio. Please God let Leo win this year. 
If not for this, then at least for the horrific snub that was him losing for Wolf of Wall Street.

Best Picture

Mad Max: Fury Road. If you don’t know why I picked this then you haven’t been paying attention.

Colin Johnson